Newton's third law in Proverbs !

NEWTON'S THIRD LAW STATES:
"Every Action has an equal and an opposite reaction... "
Similarly, every proverb has an equal and an opposite proverb!
There always exist two sides of the same coin! You be the judge.

All good things come to those who wait.	BUT	Time and tide wait for none.
The pen is mightier than the sword.	BUT	Actions speak louder than words.
Wise men think alike.	BUT	Fools seldom differ.
The best things in life are free	BUT	There's no such thing as a free lunch
Slow and steady wins the race	BUT	Time waits for none.
Look before you leap	BUT	Strike while the iron is hot
Do it well, or not at all.	BUT	Half a loaf is better than none.
Birds of a feather flock together.	BUT	Opposites attract.
Don't cross your bridges before you come to them.	BUT	Forewarned is forearmed.
Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.	BUT	Faith will move mountains.
Great starts make great finishes.	BUT	It isn't over till it's over.
Practice makes perfect.	BUT	All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Silence is golden.	BUT	The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
You're never too old to learn.	BUT	You can't teach an old dog new tricks
What's good for the goose is good for the gander.	BUT	One man's meat is another man's poison.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.	BUT	Out of sight, out of mind.
Too many cooks spoil the broth.	BUT	Many hands make light work.
Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.	BUT	Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.

Do ask 'WHY' ?

EVER  WONDER ........ ? 

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?


Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?


Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?


Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?


Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? 

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

A practical lesson in 'financial management'

A beggar to another beggar: I had a grand dinner at Taj Hotel (five star) yesterday.
How? The other beggar asked.
First begger: Some one gave me a Rs 100/- note yesterday.
I went to Taj and ordered dinner worth Rs 1,000/-,
and enjoyed the dinner.  When the bill came, I said, I had no money.
The Taj manager called the police man, and handed me over to him.
I gave the Rs 100/- note to the police fellow, and he set me free.
A wonderful example of financial management indeed

TINTU MON

Lungi Mahatmyam !!!

Just as the national bird of Kerala is Mosquito, her
national dress is 'Lungi'. Pronounced as 'Lu' as in loo
and 'ngi ' as in 'mongey', a lungi can be identified by
its floral or window-curtain pattern. 'Mundu' is the
white variation of lungi and is worn on special
occasions like hartal or bandh days, weddings and Onam.
Lungi is simple and 'down to earth' like the mallu
wearing it. Lungi is the beginning and the end of
evolution in its category. Wearing something on the top
half of your body is optional when you are wearing a
lungi. Lungi is a strategic dress. It's like a
one-size-fits-all bottoms for Keralites.

The technique of wearing a lungi/mundu is passed on
from generation to generation through word of mouth
like the British Constitution. If you think it is an
easy task wearing it, just try it once! It requires
techniques like breath control and yoga that is a notch
higher than sudarshan kriya of AOL. A lungi/mundu when
perfectly worn won't come off even in a quake of 8 on
the richter scale. A lungi is not attached to the waist
using duct tape, staple, rope or velcro. It's a bit of
mallu magic whose formula is a closely guarded secret
like the Coca Cola chemicals.

A lungi can be worn 'Full Mast' or 'Half Mast' like a
national flag. A 'Full Mast' lungi is when you are
showing respect to an elderly or the dead. Wearing it
at full mast has lots of disadvantages. A major
disadvantage is when a dog runs after you. When you are
wearing a lungi/mundu at full mast, the advantage is
mainly for the female onlookers who are spared the
ordeal of swooning at the sight of hairy legs.

Wearing a lungi 'Half Mast' is when you wear it
exposing yourself like those C grade movie starlets. A
mallu can play cricket, football or simbly run when the
lungi is worn at half mast. A mallu can even climb a
coconut tree wearing lungi in half mast. "It's not good
manners, especially for ladies from decent families, to
look up at a mallu climbing a coconut tree"- Confucius
(or is it Abdul Kalam?) Most mallus do the traditional
dance kudiyattam. Kudi means drinking alcohol and
yattam, spelled as aattam, means random movement of the
male body. Note that 'y' is silent. When you are
drinking, you drink, there is no 'y'. Any alcohol
related "festival" can be enjoyed to the maximum when
you are topless with lungi and a towel tied around the
head. "Half mast lungi makes it easy to dance and shake
legs" says Candelaria Amaranto, a Salsa teacher from
Spain after watching 'kudiyaattam' .

The 'Lungi Wearing Mallu Union' [LUWMU, pronounced LOVE
MU], an NGO which works towards the 'upliftment' of the
lungi, strongly disapprove of the GenNext tendency of
wearing Burmuda under the lungi. Burmuda under the
lungi is a conspiracy by the CIA. It's a disgrace to
see a person wearing burmuda with corporate logos under
his lungi. What they don't know is how much these
corporates are limiting their freedom of movment and
expression.

A mallu wears lungi round the year, all weather, all
season. A mallu celebrates winter by wearing a
colourful lungi with a floral pattern. Lungi provides
good ventilation and brings down the heat between legs.
A mallu is scared of global warming more than anyone
else in the world.

A lungi/mundu can be worn any time of the day/night. It
doubles as blanket at night. It also doubles up as a
swing, swimwear, sleeping bag, parachute, facemask
while entering/exiting toddy shops, shopping basket and
water filter while fishing in ponds and rivers. It also
has recreational uses like in 'Lungi/mundu pulling', a
pastime in households having more than one male member.
Lungi pulling competitions are held outside toddyshops
all over Kerala during Onam and Vishu. When these
lungis are decommissioned from service, they become
table cloths. Thus the humble lungi is a cradle to
grave appendage

A simple puzzle

A simple puzzle can you solve it 

IT'S A 7 LETTER WORD.. 

IF WE REMOVE 1 LETTER FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME. 

IF WE REMOVE 2 LETTERS FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME. 

IF WE REMOVE 3 LETTERS FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME. 

IF WE REMOVE ALL THE LETTERS FROM IT, STILL IT REMAINS SAME. 

WHAT IS IT ? 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 


A POSTBOX

The Girlfreind defined

A Girlfriend is one who changes every habit of a guy and after an year
would say
"YOU ARE NOT LIKE BEFORE. U HAVE CHANGED A LOT.... I hate you"

head foot coordination !!

 

Some funny quotes on Marriage - Not by me!!

Some very thoughtful quotes- (  :-) :)

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!
--Anonymous
 -------------------------------------------------------------------

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
--Agatha Christie
 --------------------------------------------------------------------

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
--Oscar Wilde
 --------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
--Scottish Proverb
 --------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
--Sam Kinison
 --------------------------------------------------------------------

A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.
--Anonymous
 -----------------------------------------------------------------
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
--H. L. Mencken
 --------------------------------------------------------------------

Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later, for another thing, they die earlier.

--H. L. Mencken
 ------------------------------------------------------------------
 
"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle."
- U2
 ----------------------------------------------------------------
 
Marriage is a three ring circus:

--engagement ring
--wedding ring
--suffering
-----------------------------------------------------------

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year arried couple smiles, everyone wonders  why.
--Anonymous
 -----------------------------------------------------------------

Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
--Anonymous
 -----------------------------------------------------------------

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you an be  sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
--Anonymous
 ------------------------------------------------------------------

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back .
--Anonymous
 -----------------------------------------------------------------

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
--Anonymous
 -----------------------------------------------------------------

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
--Anonymous
 ------------------------------------------------------------------

My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the estimate.

 ------------------------------------------------------------------
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------
Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to ever get  married.
He says "the wedding rings look too much like minature  handcuffs....."

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is  yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him  in!

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After  marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
 

Yamaraj PJ

31 March 2010
Yamaraj was taking an unusually large number of people to the hell.
Naarad Muni intercepted him asking "Why so Many people today ??" Yamaraj
replied "It is last day of finantial year and I need to meet the targets".

How to kill a Girl !!!

Give her beautiful dresses, nice jewellery, Costly cosmetics and then
lock her up in a room without Mirrors. Finished !!!

Modern Panchtantra

*_Modern Panchtantra Story_*

*Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop
programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of
a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the
Sunday market.*

*One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and
fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his
childhood (the woodcutter and the axe),*

*He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to
test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The
engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river. *

*As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a
match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the
Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."*

*She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.*

*Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"*

*Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was
his.*

*The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."*

*The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give
Him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer
asked her,
"Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better
computers before bringing up my own ?"*

*The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid
donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the
Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she
disappeared with the Pentium!! *

**********

*Moral:/ If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better
to keep your mouth shut /*
*/and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove
all doubt/ .*

**********

One who has an opinion on everything !!!

Love and Marriage- The difference!

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... But may be there is an even bigger one
waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher told him, "...this is love... You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already miss the person...."
"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... This is marriage.

Once in A Sunday School

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she
slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was
napping, "Tell me Janice, who created the universe?" When Janice didn't
stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin
and jabbed her in the rear.


 
"God Almighty!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good" and Janice fell back asleep.
 
A
while later the teacher asked Janice, "Who is our Lord and Saviour."
But, Janice didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came
to the rescue and stuck her again.


 
"Jesus Christ!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good," and Janice fell back asleep.
 
Then
the teacher asked Janice a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam
after she had her twenty-third child?" and again, Johnny jabbed her
with the pin.


 
This time Janice jumped up and shouted, "If you stick me with that thing one more time, I'll break it in half and stick it up your ass!"
 
... the teacher fainted!

Keeping awake in the office