The technique of wearing a lungi/mundu is passed on
from generation to generation through word of mouth
like the British Constitution. If you think it is an
easy task wearing it, just try it once! It requires
techniques like breath control and yoga that is a notch
higher than sudarshan kriya of AOL. A lungi/mundu when
perfectly worn won't come off even in a quake of 8 on
the richter scale. A lungi is not attached to the waist
using duct tape, staple, rope or velcro. It's a bit of
mallu magic whose formula is a closely guarded secret
like the Coca Cola chemicals.
A lungi can be worn 'Full Mast' or 'Half Mast' like a
national flag. A 'Full Mast' lungi is when you are
showing respect to an elderly or the dead. Wearing it
at full mast has lots of disadvantages. A major
disadvantage is when a dog runs after you. When you are
wearing a lungi/mundu at full mast, the advantage is
mainly for the female onlookers who are spared the
ordeal of swooning at the sight of hairy legs.
Wearing a lungi 'Half Mast' is when you wear it
exposing yourself like those C grade movie starlets. A
mallu can play cricket, football or simbly run when the
lungi is worn at half mast. A mallu can even climb a
coconut tree wearing lungi in half mast. "It's not good
manners, especially for ladies from decent families, to
look up at a mallu climbing a coconut tree"- Confucius
(or is it Abdul Kalam?) Most mallus do the traditional
dance kudiyattam. Kudi means drinking alcohol and
yattam, spelled as aattam, means random movement of the
male body. Note that 'y' is silent. When you are
drinking, you drink, there is no 'y'. Any alcohol
related "festival" can be enjoyed to the maximum when
you are topless with lungi and a towel tied around the
head. "Half mast lungi makes it easy to dance and shake
legs" says Candelaria Amaranto, a Salsa teacher from
Spain after watching 'kudiyaattam' .
The 'Lungi Wearing Mallu Union' [LUWMU, pronounced LOVE
MU], an NGO which works towards the 'upliftment' of the
lungi, strongly disapprove of the GenNext tendency of
wearing Burmuda under the lungi. Burmuda under the
lungi is a conspiracy by the CIA. It's a disgrace to
see a person wearing burmuda with corporate logos under
his lungi. What they don't know is how much these
corporates are limiting their freedom of movment and
expression.
A mallu wears lungi round the year, all weather, all
season. A mallu celebrates winter by wearing a
colourful lungi with a floral pattern. Lungi provides
good ventilation and brings down the heat between legs.
A mallu is scared of global warming more than anyone
else in the world.
A lungi/mundu can be worn any time of the day/night. It
doubles as blanket at night. It also doubles up as a
swing, swimwear, sleeping bag, parachute, facemask
while entering/exiting toddy shops, shopping basket and
water filter while fishing in ponds and rivers. It also
has recreational uses like in 'Lungi/mundu pulling', a
pastime in households having more than one male member.
Lungi pulling competitions are held outside toddyshops
all over Kerala during Onam and Vishu. When these
lungis are decommissioned from service, they become
table cloths. Thus the humble lungi is a cradle to
grave appendage
