Some funny quotes on Marriage - Not by me!!

Some very thoughtful quotes- (  :-) :)

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!
--Anonymous
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An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
--Agatha Christie
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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
--Oscar Wilde
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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
--Scottish Proverb
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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
--Sam Kinison
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A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.
--Anonymous
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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
--H. L. Mencken
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Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later, for another thing, they die earlier.

--H. L. Mencken
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"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle."
- U2
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Marriage is a three ring circus:

--engagement ring
--wedding ring
--suffering
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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year arried couple smiles, everyone wonders  why.
--Anonymous
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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
--Anonymous
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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you an be  sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
--Anonymous
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back .
--Anonymous
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
--Anonymous
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
--Anonymous
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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the estimate.

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She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

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Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to ever get  married.
He says "the wedding rings look too much like minature  handcuffs....."

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is  yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him  in!

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Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After  marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
 

Yamaraj PJ

31 March 2010
Yamaraj was taking an unusually large number of people to the hell.
Naarad Muni intercepted him asking "Why so Many people today ??" Yamaraj
replied "It is last day of finantial year and I need to meet the targets".

How to kill a Girl !!!

Give her beautiful dresses, nice jewellery, Costly cosmetics and then
lock her up in a room without Mirrors. Finished !!!

Modern Panchtantra

*_Modern Panchtantra Story_*

*Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop
programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of
a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the
Sunday market.*

*One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and
fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his
childhood (the woodcutter and the axe),*

*He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to
test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The
engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river. *

*As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a
match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the
Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."*

*She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.*

*Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"*

*Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was
his.*

*The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."*

*The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give
Him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer
asked her,
"Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better
computers before bringing up my own ?"*

*The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid
donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the
Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she
disappeared with the Pentium!! *

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*Moral:/ If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better
to keep your mouth shut /*
*/and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove
all doubt/ .*

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One who has an opinion on everything !!!