SWINE FLU ALERT sent out by a Company....
If you wake up looking like this, please don't come to office.
If you wake up looking like this, please don't come to office.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The Sing Conversion
Each Friday night after work, Santa Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbours were strict Catholics ... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic.
After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass ... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now, you are a Catholic."
Santa's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived. The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighbourhood.
The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Santa's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.
There stood Santa, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: "Oye, you waz born a chicken, and you waz born a lamb, you waz raised a chicken, and you waz raised a lamb but now yara, you are a potato and tomato"!
The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic.
After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass ... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now, you are a Catholic."
Santa's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived. The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighbourhood.
The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Santa's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.
There stood Santa, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: "Oye, you waz born a chicken, and you waz born a lamb, you waz raised a chicken, and you waz raised a lamb but now yara, you are a potato and tomato"!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Kutty's Microsoft Interview !
Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman forMicrosoft Europe.
5000candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kutty
BillGates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.
2000people left the room.
Kutty says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA, but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try!'
BillGates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave.
2000 people left the room.
Kutty says to himself 'I never managed anybody bymyself, but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me ?' So he stays.
BillGates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.
500 people left the room.
Kutty says to himself, 'I left school at 15, but what have I got to lose ?' So he stays in the room.
Lastly,Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo-Croat to leave.
498 people left the room.
Kutty says to himself, 'I do not speak one word of Serbo-Croat but what do I have to lose ?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate; Everyone else has gone.
Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo-Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'
Calmly,Kutty turns to the other candidate and says 'Naatil Evdyaa?'
The other candidate answers "Thrissuranu.. ....nammalevidea"?
5000candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kutty
BillGates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.
2000people left the room.
Kutty says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA, but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try!'
BillGates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave.
2000 people left the room.
Kutty says to himself 'I never managed anybody bymyself, but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me ?' So he stays.
BillGates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.
500 people left the room.
Kutty says to himself, 'I left school at 15, but what have I got to lose ?' So he stays in the room.
Lastly,Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo-Croat to leave.
498 people left the room.
Kutty says to himself, 'I do not speak one word of Serbo-Croat but what do I have to lose ?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate; Everyone else has gone.
Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo-Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'
Calmly,Kutty turns to the other candidate and says 'Naatil Evdyaa?'
The other candidate answers "Thrissuranu.. ....nammalevidea"?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Attn. Ladies Note these simple Rules
The Man's Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
We always hear ' the rules' From the female side for 'Males'.
Now here are the rules from the male side for the Female.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Sunday + GOOD WEATHER = CRICKET
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides..
Just let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one !
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have NO idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as MOTORCYCLES OR POLITICS.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping !.
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
We always hear ' the rules' From the female side for 'Males'.
Now here are the rules from the male side for the Female.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Sunday + GOOD WEATHER = CRICKET
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides..
Just let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one !
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have NO idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as MOTORCYCLES OR POLITICS.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping !.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Cartoons
Helping Hands ------------ Baby Sitting ! ----------------- Don't Smok !   |
From Funny - Just for Laughs !! |
Election Energy !! ------------------ ---------Poverty ! -------------The fate !   |
| From Funny - Just for Laughs !! |
  |
| From Funny - Just for Laughs !! |
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
